The Daily Post issued another 10-minute free-write challenge this morning. So I decided, since I didn’t have anything else to do — except edit a novel for a budding author, grade 7 stories for Saturday’s writing class, and wash a cabinet full of dishes that had been sitting and waiting for my kitchen drain to get unplugged — I’d sit here and write. (I’m also a procrastinator.)  I glanced over at a ceramic nose on a pedestal — a friend’s gift that is to be used as a repository for my glasses. All at once I heard the first line of this story running through my head. I let my imagination take flight, and 10 minutes later here’s what I ended up with:

THE NOSE KNOWS

“Holy Cow! I’ve never seen a nose that big on anybody!”

“Exactly. Nobody wants a nose this big. And nobody wants their nose to feel this big either. But that’s what happens when sinus pressure builds up, congests the head and all the breathing passages, and virtually closes off the nose. Then it starts to feel big and bulbous and like some kind of foreign appendage that’s been stuck on where it doesn’t belong.”

“I don’t remember feeling like my nose was some ‘foreign appendage’ when I had a cold.”

“Well, you wouldn’t. You live on a plane above everyone else.”

“Now, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just what I said. You think you live on a higher level than everyone else, so, naturally, you wouldn’t relate to the description. But most people will relate, and this bulbous nose, with its accompanying voice is going to sell ‘D-GEST’ decongestant to millions of people.”

“What kind of voice?”

“It sounds exactly like a stuffed up little kid. Just enough to get attention and garner sympathy from every adult who’s watching the commercial.”

“ I still don’t think it’s a winner, and Mr. Sanders is not going to like it either when you present it at the meeting today.”

“Wanna bet?”

“How much?”

“Let’s say if Sanders likes it, you have to buy me dinner Saturday night. And if he doesn’t like it, I’ll buy you dinner.”

“Okay, it’s a deal.”

(Three days later.)

“Hi, I just called to say I’ll be by to pick you up for dinner about 6:00 if that’s okay. Since Sanders loved my idea and I’m choosing the restaurant, I thought we’d do Longshore Seafood.”

(Cough, cough) “I’m sorry, Ben.” (Cough) “I can’t go tonight.” (Cough, cough).

“Oh, wow! You sound all stuffed up. In fact you sound terrible. What’s going on?”

“I have this horrible cold, and my nose feels like it weighs a ton! I wish I could cut it off.”

“Hmmmm. See … I told you that’s how it feels. Tell you what. I’ll be right over with a box of D-GEST. It’s just become the hottest thing on the market, you know.”

 

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