“You think you’ve won, but the truth is that I’m just taking a rest and planning my next strategy.”
Thanks to beautifulfreepictures.com for the photo
~~~
Tag: Humor/Fun
Three-Day Coffee Cinquain Challenge — Day 3
Okay! We’re finishing up the first full month of 2021 on a great note: with coffee and cinquain. What better combination is there?
(Well …. maybe coffee and chocolate … but we’ll do that again later.)
Ooopsie!
Don’t want to spill
Or waste a single drop
Of this delicious coffee in
My cup.
Silent Sunday — Just Hangin’ Out
Winter Friends
Just a little winter whimsy.
I had a little snowman;
His smile was big and wide.
He was a happy snowman,
When I was by his side.
But since it was quiet freezing,
I could not stay and play,
And when I had to go in,
He followed me one day.
I hurried to the fireplace
To warm my hands and toes,
And suddenly I found myself
Adrift in melted snow.
My happy little snowman
Had come inside to play,
Not knowing that the warm fire
Would melt him quite away.
But not to worry, dear friend;
I’ve dipped him up you see,
And poured the water outside
Where it will now refreeze.
Then I’ll scoop him back up
Add some fresh snow too,
And mold him back together
So he’ll be good as new.
The Politically Correct Drink
Politics ruffle my soul.
The worst of most people they show.
But when I get stressed and uptight,
I know what will make it quite right:
Please give me Coffee!
I need to lean back and breathe slow.
For Presidents will come and go.
Some are corrupt and hell-bent.
I’ll pray they’re removed, but ’til then,
Please give me Coffee!
I look back on hist’ry; alas:
We should have learned more from the past.
But I haven’t given up hope.
So with four years of crap I can cope
If I have LOTS OF COFFEE!!!!!!!!
First Coffee Post of the Year
It just wouldn’t be right if I didn’t celebrate the new year with a coffee post. And, then, since chocolate runs a very, very close second to coffee as my favorite treat, I figured I should include both. So I decided I’d stay in my limerick vein another day, and this is what I came up with.
UNIVERSAL ANTIDOTE
Coffee makes everything better.
If I’m battling inclement weather,
Or I’m dealing with stress,
Or my love life’s a mess,
I grab coffee and chocolate together.
The aroma of both is so soothing —
All my distraught emotions quite smoothing.
As they alter my brain,
My good mood I regain,
And the whole world commences improving.
3 Little Limericks to Lighten Your Day
BECOMING AN ABSTRACT ARTIST
Though he painted quite well, no sales came.
He slaved o’er each piece; what a shame.
Then one day he did trip,
And his paintbrush did slip.
The results brought his name to great fame.
TRYING TOO HARD
Lester begged for a date with Miss Rose.
She was tall, so he stretched to tiptoes.
But when they tried to kiss,
Her sweet lips he did miss,
And his chin conked her right in the nose.
GETTING THE PROPER NOURISHMENT
Obadiah thought learning a treat.
He would rather read books than to eat.
He was wasting away,
But then one lucky day,
He found cook books,
And now he’s replete.
Just A Little Christmas Whimsy Watercolor
Down Memory Lane Just For Fun
I’ve had almost no time to write new material for this website lately, so I decided to dig back through some of my old, old flash fiction pieces and post three of them that were written just for fun. My newer followers will not have read them, and I’m betting my readers of many years will have forgotten about them by now. So, hopefully, they’ll give you a little chuckle to lighten your day.
LAST MINUTE DECISIONS
The auditorium was full of guests, the organist waiting for her cue. The best man stood at the door, ready to enter as soon as Carter, the groom, came back inside. He’d just stepped out for some air. Where the heck was he?
Suddenly Carter hurried into the room, passed by his best man, and entered the auditorium. Looking at the guests, he took a deep breath and spoke:
“Sorry folks. Seems my bride eloped with someone else.” He laughed. “She took the car I’d arranged for my own last-minute escape.”
_____________________________
YOU CAN’T WIN ‘EM ALL
Harold slapped the alarm, grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV as the lottery numbers came up. Grabbing his ticket, he checked off the list.
“I won! I won!” He jumped out of bed, stepping on his boxer, Dolly.
“Woof! Woof!” Dolly joined in the excitement.
Barely thinking, Harold threw on clothes and started downstairs. Dolly ran under his feet, and Harold tripped, rolling down the flight in record time. Rubbing is head and his tailbone, he made it to the kitchen to warm up yesterday’s coffee.
The microwave blew a fuse, so he opted for juice, which he spilled on the floor. He bent to wipe it up and dropped his winning ticket into the puddle. And just when Harold thought it couldn’t get any worse, Dolly snatched up the ticket and chewed it to bits.
______________________________
A WOMAN SCORNED
“Annie! You’re attending my wedding?!”
“I’m the planner your fiance hired. Didn’t she tell you?”
“You? My ex-wife?! Why would Debra hire you?”
“Probably because I gave her the best price. She was very concerned that she not overspend.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize that you were over being so angry at me. But you’ve done a beautiful job with the decorations.”
“Thank you. I’ve tried to be very thorough and think of absolutely everything that will make the event perfect.”
“And … uh … you’re sure you don’t still hold it against me about … you know … cheating on you with Debra?”
“Relax, Harry. Everything’s fine. You don’t have anything to worry about. Here, drink this glass of champagne. I’ve poured this one especially for you. Now, drink up, and the next thing you know … it’ll all be over.”
___________________________
Might As Well Throw Out the Calendar
Well, Sundays now just never seem like Sundays
‘Cause church online just isn’t quite the same.
And Mondays don’t seem right ’cause I’m still home
Instead of working; what a lousy shame.
When Tuesday rolls around, I think it’s Thursday
And start to wonder where the week has gone.
By Saturday, I feel it must be Sunday;
Go online to watch church, but it’s not on.
When Sunday finally comes, I’m more than distressed
Because another week has passed me by,
And I recall that plans I’d made for Wednesday
Have come and gone; I missed them. (Heavy sigh)
And now the holidays are fast approaching,
But they won’t be the same for anyone
‘Cause all the rules for shopping, eating, visiting
Require that we abstain from all that’s fun.
I must admit I don’t do well in lockdown.
Is this the paradigm for staying well?
If so, we need to reevaluate it;
‘Cause life worth living’s going straight to hell.
Coffee Is A Poem – Day 4
THE HEALTHY BEVERAGE
Coffee’s good for many things, according to reports:
It stops a headache fast as any meds.
Science tells us that it can protect from heart disease
And certain kinds of cancer hold in check.
Neurologists have proven coffee quickens brain response
And stress and tension it can help release.
It’s nice to know my favorite bev’rage is so good for me.
I wonder how it works for soaking feet.
Coffee Is A Poem – Day 3
HOW TO SPELL COFFEE
C is for the comfort
That comes from every cup.
O for turn the switch ‘ON’ — leave it there.
The first F is for fragrance;
The aroma is unique.
The second F for friends with whom I share.
The first E is for eating
Something yummy with each cup.
The last E for erase: Gone are my cares!
Coffee Is A Poem – Day 2
BY THE POT
Drinking coffee by the cup is fine
If my day is going well,
And works getting done on time.
But lately I’ve been having quite a lot
Of days when I need coffee by the pot.
A cup or two a day is pretty norm.
And that satisfies my soul
With its fragrance rich and warm.
But days this year — normal they are not!
So now I’m drinking coffee by the pot.
Lemonade Stand
I posted this painting a couple weeks ago, but later I discovered that my muse just insisted on creating a little poem to go along with it. So here’s the poem and, of course, it’s only right that I show you the picture again, since it was the inspiration.
LEMONADE STAND
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Then set up a stand near the road, in the shade.
Offer to passersby at a fair price
For lemon juice, water, sugar and ice.
Most likely, no one will stop and consume.
And some may imply you take up too much room.
But in the end, if no money you’ve made,
Just kick back and chug all that sweet lemonade.
Watercolor Splotches
I’ve been experimenting with Watercolor Splotches. The idea is that you put puddles of watercolor on the paper and blow on it through a straw. What happens next gives you the theme of your picture. When I saw that these splotches dried holding hands, I knew it was love.
