I added another free audio short story to my personal YouTube channel today. Hope you enjoy it. A humorous look at romance as a senior citizen.
Humor/Fun
‘A CHRISTMAS CAROL’ — THE REST OF THE STORY ??? – # 3
A few years ago, with my sincere apologies to Mr. Charles Dickens, I created a series of futuristic vignettes that take a look at a few of the characters of his heart-warming novel and what their lives may have been like decades beyond the words “The End” at the close of his masterpiece. Recently, I decided it would be fun to dig those stories out of my archives and dust them off. Maybe they will make this Christmas a little more fun. These tales are simply the result of my imagination being given free rein, but I offer them in the spirit of the season, hoping you’ll enjoy them. You can also find them in my Christmas anthology Stocking Full of Stories, available from Amazon.
Today’s story focuses on the Spirit of Christmas Past
THE REST OF THE STORY # 3: THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS PAST — REQUEST FOR TRANSFER
“Mr. Alexander, the Spirit of Christmas Past is here for his 2:00 appointment.”
“Send him in.”
As the door opened, his boss could see that Past was unhappy.
“Good to see you, Past. We haven’t had a talk in – what – three or four years?”
“Four years, Sir,” Past said, taking a seat.
“I get a lot of good reports about your work. But you look unhappy. Is something wrong?”
“Yes, Sir. Something’s very wrong!”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Can I help?”
“Well, Sir, I was wondering if I couldn’t trade places with Christmas Present for a while.”
“But you’re an expert at what you do, Past. Why would you want to have to learn a whole new job?”
“Because I never get a chance to use any of the new stuff, sir – any of the new technology and advanced equipment and devices that men have invented in the last several decades. I never get to play video games, or use cell phones, or those gadgets they call iPods. Why, do you realize I’ve never even had a chance to use a computer?”
“Well, I have to admit that I hadn’t given that point any thought, Past, but you don’t need any of those devices in your work, do you?”
That’s just the point, sir. I don’t need any of those things in my work, so I get none of the fun involved with using them. And there’s something else that’s just recently come out – a brand new thing-a-ma-jig that they call Oculus that lets you experience hundreds of different virtual worlds and lets you perform feats and play games that go beyond the imagination!”
“Oculus, huh?”
“Yes sir.”
Mr. Alexander just shook his head in consternation. He didn’t understand all this new-fangled equipment either, but that fact hadn’t bothered him before now. Maybe he was starting to fall behind the times himself. He looked back at Past, unsure what to say because he knew there was no way The Boss would go along with moving Past to a totally new time dimension.
Past looked at him hopefully. “It just isn’t fair, Sir! And that’s why I’m asking for a transfer. I was sure you’d understand when I explained.”
Mr. Alexander leaned back in his chair and looked at Past kindly. “Let me think this over for a bit, Past, and, of course, I’ll have to run it by The Boss.
One week later, Past walked back into Mr. Alexander’s office, having been summoned there to discuss the troubling issue again. When he arrived, he saw several gaily wrapped packages of various sizes on Alexander’s desk.
“Have you just finished your Christmas shopping?” Past asked.
“Not exactly, Past, but I have been doing some shopping for some special gifts.”
He motioned to a chair in front of his desk. “Sit down, Past, and I’ll tell you about these packages.”
Past took his seat, his eyes alight with excitement, and Mr. Alexander stood with his hand on top of one of the larger gifts. “The Boss says we just can’t possibly reassign you to a different job, Past. You’ve been trained specifically for what you do, and you bring centuries of experience into every case you handle. So we need you to stay where you are.”
Immediately Past’s mouth drooped and his eyes lost their light, but before he could say anything, Alexander continued.
“But The Boss and I also understand you naturally feel cheated in certain areas because of the need to focus uniquely on people, facts, and events from a dimension of time that has none of the benefits of the present day. You don’t get to spend any time in the present, and certainly have no possible involvement in what’s coming down the road in the future.
“So –” he turned and lifted one of the gifts, smiling at Past – “we felt the least we could do was to give you some of the devices that you’ve longed for the last several years. You may not get to use them on the job, but you can have fun with them personally in your time off.” At that point, he handed Past the gift he’d been holding.
“Receive this with our deep appreciation for the terrific job you do, Past. And all these other packages as well,” he added, sweeping his hand over the entire collection. “There’s one of everything you mentioned to me in our last meeting, and we hope they will, in some small way, make up for all that you’ve missed out on.”
Past was speechless. He was barely able to reach out and take the package from his boss’ hands. “I’m … I’m … Well, I just don’t know what to say,” he stammered. “All of these are for me?”
“Indeed they are, Past. Enjoy them as much as you can. It’s the least we can do for you considering all the people you’ve helped and the lives you worked so hard to change for good during your many years of faithful service in the … well … you know . . . the past.” ♦
Stay tuned for Parts 4 & 5 over the next two days.
‘A CHRISTMAS CAROL’ — THE REST OF THE STORY??? – # 1
A few years ago, with my sincere apologies to Mr. Charles Dickens, I created a series of futuristic vignettes that take a look at a few of the characters of his heart-warming novel and what their lives may have been like decades beyond the words “The End” at the close of his masterpiece. Recently, I decided it would be fun to dig those stories out of my archives and dust them off. Maybe they will make this Christmas a little more fun. These tales are simply the result of my imagination being given free rein, but I offer them in the spirit of the season, hoping you’ll enjoy them. You can also find them in my Christmas anthology Stocking Full of Stories, available from Amazon.
Today’s story deals with Ebenezer. But be sure and come back for the next 4 days as I tell you “the rest of the story” about Tiny Tim, and the Spirits of Christmas Past, Christmas Present, and Christmas Future.
THE REST OF THE STORY PART 1: EBENEZER THE SUITOR
Ebenezer had never felt his heart stop beating before. Was that what was happening, or was he just forgetting to breathe? He wasn’t sure, but He did know he was looking at the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen, and he was glad he’d worn the new suit.
“Ebenezer, meet my cousin, Marilee Cratchit,” said Bob.
Marilee extended her hand, and Ebenezer took it, becoming submerged in the magical cloud of her cologne. He’d been nervous about attending this party, but since his regeneration on Christmas day last year, he was welcomed everywhere. Right now he felt ten feet off the ground. It seemed being a kind, generous man really was the most important thing in life.
“Ebeneezer, I’ve been dying to meet you,” Marilee cooed. “Come sit with me and talk.”
His heart danced. He couldn’t believe anyone so beautiful and fragile would be interested in spending time with him. His heart skipped a couple beats as he wondered: was he actually going to get another chance at love?
“What shall we talk about?” he asked her, contemplating ways to express his renewed heart to her. Ever since his transformation, he found that he wanted to tell everyone how good life was when you learned that people are more important than money.
“I’d like to talk about your money, of course!” she said. “They say you’re the richest man in London!”
Disappointed at her words, he answered: “Uh … I don’t know. Is it important?”
“Well it is to me! Without a lot of money one can’t own a fine home, or fashionable clothes, or beautiful jewelry. And there’s no chance to travel and have fun without a lot of money either. Surely you, of all people, know how important it is.”
“Well, I admit that I used to feel that way. In fact it cost me the love a wonderful woman when I was quite young. But last year I had a most unusual experience that taught me a valuable lesson about life.”
“Oh? What lesson was that?”
“That people are much more valuable than money and that unless you care about people money doesn’t really do you any good because no matter how many things you buy with it, it cannot take away loneliness and give you love.”
“Well, I’ll take my chances,” she said. “I do not intend to be poor or to do without all the finer things in life.” She gave him a saucy look, her seductive smile in place. “I may as well warn you, Ebbie, I’m looking for a rich husband, and I have my eye on you.”
He squirmed just a little where he sat and cleared his throat. “Marilee,” he said, “I think perhaps there’s a book you should read. I’ll loan you my copy. It’s a little Christmas story by Charles Dickens.” ♦
Attitude Is Everything
“You think you’ve won, but the truth is that I’m just taking a rest and planning my next strategy.”
Thanks to beautifulfreepictures.com for the photo
~~~
Three-Day Coffee Cinquain Challenge — Day 3
Okay! We’re finishing up the first full month of 2021 on a great note: with coffee and cinquain. What better combination is there?
(Well …. maybe coffee and chocolate … but we’ll do that again later.)
Ooopsie!
Don’t want to spill
Or waste a single drop
Of this delicious coffee in
My cup.
Silent Sunday — Just Hangin’ Out
Winter Friends
Just a little winter whimsy.
I had a little snowman;
His smile was big and wide.
He was a happy snowman,
When I was by his side.
But since it was quiet freezing,
I could not stay and play,
And when I had to go in,
He followed me one day.
I hurried to the fireplace
To warm my hands and toes,
And suddenly I found myself
Adrift in melted snow.
My happy little snowman
Had come inside to play,
Not knowing that the warm fire
Would melt him quite away.
But not to worry, dear friend;
I’ve dipped him up you see,
And poured the water outside
Where it will now refreeze.
Then I’ll scoop him back up
Add some fresh snow too,
And mold him back together
So he’ll be good as new.
The Politically Correct Drink
Politics ruffle my soul.
The worst of most people they show.
But when I get stressed and uptight,
I know what will make it quite right:
Please give me Coffee!
I need to lean back and breathe slow.
For Presidents will come and go.
Some are corrupt and hell-bent.
I’ll pray they’re removed, but ’til then,
Please give me Coffee!
I look back on hist’ry; alas:
We should have learned more from the past.
But I haven’t given up hope.
So with four years of crap I can cope
If I have LOTS OF COFFEE!!!!!!!!
First Coffee Post of the Year
It just wouldn’t be right if I didn’t celebrate the new year with a coffee post. And, then, since chocolate runs a very, very close second to coffee as my favorite treat, I figured I should include both. So I decided I’d stay in my limerick vein another day, and this is what I came up with.
UNIVERSAL ANTIDOTE
Coffee makes everything better.
If I’m battling inclement weather,
Or I’m dealing with stress,
Or my love life’s a mess,
I grab coffee and chocolate together.
The aroma of both is so soothing —
All my distraught emotions quite smoothing.
As they alter my brain,
My good mood I regain,
And the whole world commences improving.
3 Little Limericks to Lighten Your Day
BECOMING AN ABSTRACT ARTIST
Though he painted quite well, no sales came.
He slaved o’er each piece; what a shame.
Then one day he did trip,
And his paintbrush did slip.
The results brought his name to great fame.
TRYING TOO HARD
Lester begged for a date with Miss Rose.
She was tall, so he stretched to tiptoes.
But when they tried to kiss,
Her sweet lips he did miss,
And his chin conked her right in the nose.
GETTING THE PROPER NOURISHMENT
Obadiah thought learning a treat.
He would rather read books than to eat.
He was wasting away,
But then one lucky day,
He found cook books,
And now he’s replete.
Just A Little Christmas Whimsy Watercolor
Down Memory Lane Just For Fun
I’ve had almost no time to write new material for this website lately, so I decided to dig back through some of my old, old flash fiction pieces and post three of them that were written just for fun. My newer followers will not have read them, and I’m betting my readers of many years will have forgotten about them by now. So, hopefully, they’ll give you a little chuckle to lighten your day.
LAST MINUTE DECISIONS
The auditorium was full of guests, the organist waiting for her cue. The best man stood at the door, ready to enter as soon as Carter, the groom, came back inside. He’d just stepped out for some air. Where the heck was he?
Suddenly Carter hurried into the room, passed by his best man, and entered the auditorium. Looking at the guests, he took a deep breath and spoke:
“Sorry folks. Seems my bride eloped with someone else.” He laughed. “She took the car I’d arranged for my own last-minute escape.”
_____________________________
YOU CAN’T WIN ‘EM ALL
Harold slapped the alarm, grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV as the lottery numbers came up. Grabbing his ticket, he checked off the list.
“I won! I won!” He jumped out of bed, stepping on his boxer, Dolly.
“Woof! Woof!” Dolly joined in the excitement.
Barely thinking, Harold threw on clothes and started downstairs. Dolly ran under his feet, and Harold tripped, rolling down the flight in record time. Rubbing is head and his tailbone, he made it to the kitchen to warm up yesterday’s coffee.
The microwave blew a fuse, so he opted for juice, which he spilled on the floor. He bent to wipe it up and dropped his winning ticket into the puddle. And just when Harold thought it couldn’t get any worse, Dolly snatched up the ticket and chewed it to bits.
______________________________
A WOMAN SCORNED
“Annie! You’re attending my wedding?!”
“I’m the planner your fiance hired. Didn’t she tell you?”
“You? My ex-wife?! Why would Debra hire you?”
“Probably because I gave her the best price. She was very concerned that she not overspend.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize that you were over being so angry at me. But you’ve done a beautiful job with the decorations.”
“Thank you. I’ve tried to be very thorough and think of absolutely everything that will make the event perfect.”
“And … uh … you’re sure you don’t still hold it against me about … you know … cheating on you with Debra?”
“Relax, Harry. Everything’s fine. You don’t have anything to worry about. Here, drink this glass of champagne. I’ve poured this one especially for you. Now, drink up, and the next thing you know … it’ll all be over.”
___________________________
Might As Well Throw Out the Calendar
Well, Sundays now just never seem like Sundays
‘Cause church online just isn’t quite the same.
And Mondays don’t seem right ’cause I’m still home
Instead of working; what a lousy shame.
When Tuesday rolls around, I think it’s Thursday
And start to wonder where the week has gone.
By Saturday, I feel it must be Sunday;
Go online to watch church, but it’s not on.
When Sunday finally comes, I’m more than distressed
Because another week has passed me by,
And I recall that plans I’d made for Wednesday
Have come and gone; I missed them. (Heavy sigh)
And now the holidays are fast approaching,
But they won’t be the same for anyone
‘Cause all the rules for shopping, eating, visiting
Require that we abstain from all that’s fun.
I must admit I don’t do well in lockdown.
Is this the paradigm for staying well?
If so, we need to reevaluate it;
‘Cause life worth living’s going straight to hell.
Coffee Is A Poem – Day 4
THE HEALTHY BEVERAGE
Coffee’s good for many things, according to reports:
It stops a headache fast as any meds.
Science tells us that it can protect from heart disease
And certain kinds of cancer hold in check.
Neurologists have proven coffee quickens brain response
And stress and tension it can help release.
It’s nice to know my favorite bev’rage is so good for me.
I wonder how it works for soaking feet.
Coffee Is A Poem – Day 3
HOW TO SPELL COFFEE
C is for the comfort
That comes from every cup.
O for turn the switch ‘ON’ — leave it there.
The first F is for fragrance;
The aroma is unique.
The second F for friends with whom I share.
The first E is for eating
Something yummy with each cup.
The last E for erase: Gone are my cares!
The Happy Wordcrafter 