It’s the Principle of the Thing

I was just meandering through some of my old, old flash fiction this weekend, and happened across this little story. I decided that during this unique time of absenting ourselves from routine cosmetic care, this little gem might lighten the day for a few people.


BARBER POLE - CLIPARTIT’S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING

Albert, the town barber, whistled as he walked the few blocks to his shop, key in hand. But as he rounded the corner, he saw that he had a customer impatiently waiting at the door.

“I thought you’d never get here!” the customer said.

Albert’s eyes grew round.

“Come on,” the customer urged. “Let’s get inside.”

Albert unlocked the door and followed his customer in, returning his keys to his pocket and unfolding a clean cape, while all the time never taking his eyes off his guest.

“Well, don’t just stand there,” the customer said, now in the chair. “Quick! Get me shaved.”

“Oh … I couldn’t!  I just couldn’t!” Albert said, as he gently wrapped the cape around the customer. “Why, that’s the most perfect beard I’ve ever seen.”

“What!?!?”

“Why, it’s thick and velvety, with perfect color. Every barber longs for a customer with a beard like that to care for.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!  What’s wrong with you, man?”

“I’ll delight in trimming it for you, but I could never shave it off.”

“But you must! I’m not leaving this chair until you do!”

Albert shook his head.

“Now look here,” the customer shouted. “I’ll pay you double your normal price. But get me shaved now!”

Albert looked genuinely concerned, but continued to shake his head.

“No, it would be a shame to do it” He said. “I’m very sorry if it upsets you, M’am.  But I will not shave off your beard.”

~~~

 

Velvet Verbosity # 378 – ‘The Happy Barber’

 

 

 

This week’s Velvet Verbosity 100-Word Story prompt is the word “Beard.”

 

BARBER POLE - CLIPARTTHE HAPPY BARBER

 

Albert, the town barber, arrived at his shop to find a customer waiting.

“I thought you’d never get here!” the customer said.

Albert’s eyes grew round.

“Well, don’t just stand there,” the customer said, now in the chair. “Quick! Get me shaved.”

“Oh … I couldn’t!  I just couldn’t !  That’s the most perfect beard I’ve ever seen.”

“What!?!?”

“Why, it’s thick and velvety, with perfect color. Every barber longs for a customer with a beard like that to care for.  I’ll delight in trimming it for you, but I could never shave it off.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!  What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m sorry to upset you, M’am.  But I will not shave off your beard.”

~~~

Author’s note:

I’ve reached the time of my life where I’ve had to learn to deal with one of those aggravating challenges that nag at ladies in their middle age years: those confounded extra hairs that keep cropping up above our upper lips and on our lower chins. Testy little things they are, and our determination to get rid of them – and keep getting rid of them when necessary – is without limit.
There are a number of weapons in our arsenal: creams, waxes, strips, eye-brow shapers, tweezers, and any number of exfoliating gadgets sold “only on TV.” So far, no one I know has had to resort to visiting Albert (thank God), but my personal small warfare in this area has undoubtedly attributed to my whimsical take on this week’s prompt.

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Clipart courtesy of http://www.wpclipart.com/working/signs/barber_pole.png.html

 

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Story Challenge: A Cow, A Barber, & a Child

 

Okay, blogging buddies, I’m in the mood for another story challenge this week. Write me a story (or a poem if you prefer) that includes the following:

 

 

COW & MILK

A COW

 

BARBER CARTOON - BLUE

A BARBER

`

BOY FOR RESCUE - SHORTER YELLOW
A CHILD OR CHILDREN
(Boys or girls, any age)

 

Word limit: 500 words or less.

Remember that my blog is “G” Rated.

Post your story on your own blog and hop over here and put the link to it in the “Comments” section of this post. Also make any comments you like as well.

Time limit: Challenge will run through next Saturday, May 10, 2014, and will close at 12:00 midnight that night (U.S. Central Daylight Time). But, of course, if you want to post a story any time after the 10th, that’s fine.

Feel free to use any of these pictures with your own story if you’d like to do so.

Happy Writing!

 

 

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