I’ve had almost no time to write new material for this website lately, so I decided to dig back through some of my old, old flash fiction pieces and post three of them that were written just for fun. My newer followers will not have read them, and I’m betting my readers of many years will have forgotten about them by now. So, hopefully, they’ll give you a little chuckle to lighten your day.
The auditorium was full of guests, the organist waiting for her cue. The best man stood at the door, ready to enter as soon as Carter, the groom, came back inside. He’d just stepped out for some air. Where the heck was he?
Suddenly Carter hurried into the room, passed by his best man, and entered the auditorium. Looking at the guests, he took a deep breath and spoke:
“Sorry folks. Seems my bride eloped with someone else.” He laughed. “She took the car I’d arranged for my own last-minute escape.”
Harold slapped the alarm, grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV as the lottery numbers came up. Grabbing his ticket, he checked off the list.
“I won! I won!” He jumped out of bed, stepping on his boxer, Dolly.
“Woof! Woof!” Dolly joined in the excitement.
Barely thinking, Harold threw on clothes and started downstairs. Dolly ran under his feet, and Harold tripped, rolling down the flight in record time. Rubbing is head and his tailbone, he made it to the kitchen to warm up yesterday’s coffee.
The microwave blew a fuse, so he opted for juice, which he spilled on the floor. He bent to wipe it up and dropped his winning ticket into the puddle. And just when Harold thought it couldn’t get any worse, Dolly snatched up the ticket and chewed it to bits.
“Annie! You’re attending my wedding?!”
“I’m the planner your fiance hired. Didn’t she tell you?”
“You? My ex-wife?! Why would Debra hire you?”
“Probably because I gave her the best price. She was very concerned that she not overspend.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize that you were over being so angry at me. But you’ve done a beautiful job with the decorations.”
“Thank you. I’ve tried to be very thorough and think of absolutely everything that will make the event perfect.”
“And … uh … you’re sure you don’t still hold it against me about … you know … cheating on you with Debra?”
“Relax, Harry. Everything’s fine. You don’t have anything to worry about. Here, drink this glass of champagne. I’ve poured this one especially for you. Now, drink up, and the next thing you know … it’ll all be over.”