Will I Know Him When I See Him?

“Some enchanted evening, you may see a stranger; you may see a stranger, across a crowded room … and … you’ll know even then that somewhere you’ll see him again and again.” It does happen: you notice a person across a room. You’ve never actually met him. You may not know anything about him, or you may know who he is only in an objective sense. There’s absolutely no logical reason to believe that he will become an important part of your life, or that one day there will be a strong relationship between the two of you. But regardless of the lack of logic, you do know, somehow, that your destiny is tied up with his.

He leaves. You leave. Months go by, and you don’t set eyes on him; you don’t hear his name mentioned; you don’t even think about him except in the most fleeting way. Then suddenly, one day you hear someone talking about him, and everything in you comes to attention. You think, I want to know what they’re saying, because he’s special to me. He’s going to have a special place in my life. So you listen carefully. It isn’t anything particularly important … just words that included his name … but you made a mental note because you know he’s important in your life.

More months go by, and suddenly you see him walk into a store. You feel like you need to go up to him and say something, because, after all, he’s an important person in your life … but you don’t know him. He doesn’t know you. If you say anything, he will look at you as if you’re crazy. So you let it pass, but you feel as if you’ve missed something good. You go home a little sadder because you didn’t connect … even though you know you are connected.

A few weeks go by. There he is again, walking down the same grocery store aisle as you. This time, the need to say something is more than you can rein in. You still haven’t met. He’ll still think you’re crazy. But you speak. Something inane, but certainly non-threatening. And sure enough, he looks at you, and you can see the question in his eyes: “Who are you?”

And your immediate reaction is to answer, I’m the person who’s going to have a really important place in your life! Your destiny is tied in with mine! But, of course, you can’t say that. So you walk on down the aisle as if nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

Weeks pass. Now you’ve had an opportunity to talk to him briefly in the natural order of doing your job. It’s been fleeting, but at least there’s a connection. You don’t know why you want that connection. Most of the things about him are definitely unlike anything you have thought you might want in life. In fact, you aren’t looking for a new relationship at all right now. But it was important that you connected.

A couple more weeks pass. You hear from him. Again it’s related to your professions, but a door has opened a very tiny little crack. So you walk through it. Maybe he’ll still think you’re crazy, but you might as well take a chance. Chances like this don’t come often.

More weeks pass. You come to the conclusion that he has closed the door again and intends to keep you out. Oh, well. It’s probably better that way. You don’t really find him attractive, and you know you wouldn’t want a serious relationship with him. It’s just that there’s something … something … there is something special that’s supposed to happen between the two of you.

More weeks pass, and now you have managed to talk some sense into yourself and decided to let go of this screwy idea that there is something special between you and this stranger. You move on. You focus your attention on your work, your friendships – real friendships – and the possibility of other new relationships —- if you can ever get to the point where you are sure you really want a new relationship.

Months pass. You hear his name, and, even though you’ve convinced yourself that all of it was a figment of your imagination, your mind centers in on the words being spoken about him, and your heart tells you – once again – that your destiny is connected with his . . .

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