SOCS Writing Challenge – 8/13/16: Cash

I‘m experimenting with a new challenge this week. Actually, I was supposed to write this piece yesterday, since the challenge is titled “Stream of Consciousness Saturday.” But I just didn’t have enough time. The hostess is Linda G. Hill, and if you’d like to start participating in the challenge, just follow the link to her site.

I like stream-of-consciousness writing exercises. I use them often with my creative writing students in the college classes I teach. And many times, those exercises allow us to discover aspects of our creativity that we didn’t know were there. When we just start writing without planning and let our creativity take us wherever it will, without stopping to reason or even edit, we can come up with some surprising things.

This time around, I think I’ve come up with something rather silly, but — what can I say — I just started with a question out of nowhere and followed up with another line and another until I had what you see below. Maybe it will at least give you a chuckle.

 

Public domain image from www.public-domain-image.com
http://www.public-domain-image.com

DOWN MEMORY LANE – OR NOT

“Cash! Darn it, man! What took you so long?”

“I couldn’t find my gun.”

“What the heck you need a gun for?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you mean what do I mean? What do you plan to do with a gun?”

Cash looked at his friend Kent. They’d gone through high school together as best friends. And even after Cash had gone to Brazil to work, they’d kept in touch – well – until his accident. After that, he’d lost touch with most of his acquaintances, due to the amnesia.

Now, ten years later, most of his memory was coming back – slowly – and he had manged to get a job at the computer company where Kent worked. Kent had invited him to go out with him tonight – since it was Friday and no work tomorrow – but he was wondering now if his friend might be having some issues with forgetfulness himself. He looked at him closely. “You all right, Kent? I think maybe you’ve been working too hard.”

“Heck no. I’m fine. Lookin’ forward to tonight.”

“But I notice you don’t have a gun – and you’re not exactly dressed for hunting are you?”

Kent scratched his head. “What’s with this gun business? You afraid someone might try to hold us up or something?”

“No. But hunting requires some kind of weapon, doesn’t it? Bow and arrow or knife or a gun? And I figured since you said we’d be hunting chicks, the gun would be the most appropriate.”

Kent’s eyes bugged out. “What?!”

“Well, chickens are going to be pretty hard to take down with a bow and arrow, and, frankly, the knife sounded like it would get pretty gory, so the gun seemed the best choice.”

“Buddy … are you telling me you came tonight planning on shooting at a bunch of chickens?”

Now it was Cash’s turn to look astounded. “But that’s what you said we’d be doing. I remember distinctly. You said, ‘Hey Cash, wanna go out with me tonight? We’ll hunt us up some chicks.’

Kent just stood there – mouth open, but silent. No words came to his rescue. He’d have to figure out a way to explain to Cash that, evidently, his memory was still a long way from back to normal. Colloquial terminology needed to be the topic of discussion at his next therapy session.

 

 

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20 Things the Well-Prepared Woman Has with Her at All Times

WINKING RIGHT EYE -BLACK(It’s been a little over 2 years since I first created this list. I thought it might be a good time to post it again. I’m also interested to know if any readers out there have suggestions for additions.)

 

  1. Chocolate
  2. Peanut Butter & Crackers
  3. Small package of Kleenex
  4. Individually-wrapped anti-bacterial wipes
  5. Bottle of water
  6. Dental floss
  7. A delightful book
  8.Two Pens
  9. Notepaper
10. Extra chocolate
11. Two Band-aids
12. A nail file
13. Two Safety pins
14. Two paper clips
15. Compact with mirror
16. Comb
17. $10.00 in immediately spendable currency
18. Cell Phone – for emergencies only (a phone held to the ear constantly is very unattractive.)
19. A big smile
20. Extra chocolate

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100-Word Challenge For Grownups – Week #184

Julia’s back into the swing of things with her 100-Word Challenge for Grownups this week. The prompt is the following phrase:
“… and just when Harold thought it couldn’t get any worse …”

Visit Julia’s blog to get the details of participating.

SAD SMILEY - FLESH COLORYOU CAN’T WIN ‘EM ALL

Harold slapped the alarm, grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV as the lottery numbers came up. Grabbing his ticket, he checked off the list.

“I won! I won!” He jumped out of bed, stepping on his boxer, Dolly.

“Woof! Woof!” Dolly joined in the excitement.

Barely thinking, Harold threw on clothes and started downstairs. Dolly ran under his feet, and Harold tripped, rolling down the flight in record time. Rubbing is head and his tailbone, he made it to the kitchen to warm up yesterday’s coffee.

The microwave blew a fuse, so he opted for juice, which he spilled on the floor. He bent to wipe it up and dropped his winning ticket into the puddle. And just when Harold thought it couldn’t get any worse, Dolly snatched up the ticket and chewed it to bits.

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Daily Post Prompt: Muse

To take part in the challenge, visit Daily Post.


Clip art courtesy Clker.com

My muse
Went for a snooze.
Left me to write alone.
And although on my own,
I wrote great stuff.
Aha!  I’ve learned I don’t need him at all.
“Dear Muse,
You snooze; you lose.
You’re fired.”

 

 

~~~

 

Silly Cinquain

WHITE SMILEYNews Flash!
Gert and Yogi
Just had a baby boy.
They compromised to choose his name:
Yogurt.

 

Sorry: It’s been a very long, very hard day. I just couldn’t pass up this ridiculous thought (especially since I was eating a cup of yogurt at the time).

However, I did accomplish something worthwhile today: I bought a car. Life is almost back to normal now.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Too Hot For Anything But Cinquain

HOT CLIP ART#1
Windy:
Flash summer storm,
The fan I’ve turned on high,
My neighbor in her gossip mode—
Hot air.

#2
Sidewalks
Could fry an egg.
Too hot to walk barefoot.
The asphalt melts beneath car wheels.
July.

#3
The sweat
Runs down my nose,
Forms currents down my back,
And plasters underwear to skin:
Heat wave.

 

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Daily Post Prompt: Unpredictable Eunice

WOMAN W. QUESTIONS
Unpredictable Eunice – her name:
For changing her mind was her game.

She’d start out the day wearing blue;
Then change when the day was half through.

She’d order a meal on a date,
But then, asking the waiter to wait,
She would dither and dather and hop
From entree to entree, then stop
And request her original dish.
That she’d go home was her waiter’s wish.

When it came to the men in her life,
She was asked to be several men’s wife,
But she just couldn’t make up her mind,
And each man did eventually find,
When he looked up the aisle for his bride,
She had run to another man’s side.

Oh, poor Eunice; she wasn’t well liked,
And folks thought her quite curiously psyched.

But each one could predict accurately —
Could bet money and win frequently —
That when Eunice had made up her mind,
She would change it again in no time.

Unpredictable Eunice — her name.
And she’ll never change that: What a shame!

~~~

To participate in today’s challenge, visit The Daily Post.

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Daily Post Prompt: Desert

DESERT MINE

You say you just can’t trust my love is true.
So I am meditating what to do.
Somehow, I think there’s no convincing you
That I’m the faithful type all through and through.

How to forestall your fears I wish I knew,
I’ve had myself in such a miserable stew.
But I’ve brought it down to this: Here’s what I’d do.
I’d cross the desert on a three-legged mule for you.

And if that’s not good enough, my dear — I’m through!

~~~
Okay, I know it’s a ridiculous poem, but I didn’t get started until late in the afternoon, and it’s the best I could come up with. If you want to participate in today’s prompt, drop in at The Daily Post.

 

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Leg-Shackled

 

BALL & CHAIN FREE CLIP ART
freeclipartnow.com

Nathaniel was feeling quite blue.
To his Darling, he’d been quite untrue.
Though he hadn’t been caught,
With his conscience he fought,
And was trying to think what to do.

He could keep it a secret from her.
If she questioned him, maybe defer.
But if someone else told —
Some old gossip quite bold —
Then his Darling would toss him for sure.

What to do, what to do — so distressed.
It was not that he loved Darling best.
But she had lots of dough,
And his coffers were low.
So perhaps he should crawl and confess.

But, alas, he had let time expire.
Darling charged in, her eyes full of fire.
Six feet tall and quite round —
Nearly three hundred pounds —
She immediate repentance inspired.

She said, “Nate, dear, you should be ashamed.
Your unfaithfulness has caused me pain.
But I know how to fix
You and your bag of tricks.”
Round his leg she did fasten a chain.

Now Nathaniel is faithful and true.
After all, there’s not much else to do.
For his Darling learned fast:
If she wants love to last,
A girl does what she just has to do.

 

 

~~~

Happiness Experiment

 

COW WITH SMILEY EYESWhen your smile is sincere, it will always show in your eyes.

Would you like to try a happiness experiment?  I first suggested this experiment a few years back, and some of you may have tried it then. But it never hurts to repeat something that has positive results. You can carry out this experiment on any day you choose, but you’ll want to start in the morning so that you have plenty of time to accumulate results.

Here are the steps:

  1. Make it a point to smile all day long – at every person, at every animal, and at yourself every time you look in the mirror.
  2. Every time you talk to someone (no matter what the topic) make it a point to say something positive to that individual.
  3. Deliberately stop 7 separate times and thank God out loud for some blessing in your life.
  4. At the end of the day, take stock of how you feel and record the results of the experiment.

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Insufficient in My Duties??? – Taking a Survey

WOMAN VACUUMING`

It would appear that I am a less than satisfactory housekeeper. Now, I have never tried to pass myself off as a ‘perfect’ housekeeper,’ but I thought I at least passed muster. I mean, my house is seldom in ‘apple-pie’ order, but what needs to be clean is clean, and most of the time people can walk through my house from front to back without tripping over anything or needing to dance around junk sitting out in the way. But recently, after talking to a close acquaintance, I got to remembering conversations with others over the passed few years,  and suddenly I find that I seem to be out in left field somewhere in the housekeeping department.

So I’m taking a survey. Now, I’m sure most of you won’t bother to answer these questions. But if a few of you good souls would be so kind, I would really appreciate your time and attention. I just need to find out how far into left field I have drifted in my housekeeping duties. So here goes. Just leave me a note in my “Comments” section with your answers. These questions are for readers of both genders because men are often as good a housekeepers as ladies. So please, guys, put in your two cents’ worth as well.

I’m hoping, of course, to find a few souls out there who fall into the same bracket I seem to be in, but don’t let my hopes influence you. BE HONEST. If I’m living in a dream world, thinking my house is clean and I have nothing to feel guilty about, I need to know it now.

Here are the questions:

  1. Do you vacuum your walls?
  2. Do you get down on your hands and knees and use a toothbrush to clean the edges of your tile where it meets the wall and the cabinets?
  3. Do you keep a towel handy to wipe down the sink every time you use it?
  4. Do you clean your toilet stool plunger with soap every time you use it for a messy job?(I’m not talking about swishing it in the clean water in the toilet bowl. I’m talking spraying bathroom cleanser on it and rinsing it several times)
  5. Do you wash all the windows, inside and out, every 6 months?
  6. Do you wash out all your garbage cans every week?
  7. When you dust, do you pick up every single book and figurine and dust it individually?
  8. Do you clean out and rearrange every dresser drawer and closet every year?
  9. Do you clean all your Venetian blinds every year?
  10. Do you vacuum or sweep under your beds every week?
  11. Do you vacuum behind your refrigerator and stove every week?
  12. Do you clean your coffee maker with vinegar every month the way the owner’s booklet advises?
  13. Do you move beds, sofas, and other big pieces of furniture every time you vacuum?
  14. Do you wash all the woodwork in your house every year?
  15. Do you get down on your hands and knees by your drive and/or sidewalk and use scissors to get the grass that was left by the hedge trimmer?

Now, this survey is easy for me because I have just one answer to all these questions. NO.

Maybe I should be ashamed. I’m not.  Well, at least I wasn’t —  but I may wait until I read some of your answers before I let myself off the hook.

Thanks for participating in my survey. You can feel free to pass it along if you like and reprint these questions on your own site to see what you can find out from your own readers. Well — that is — if you aren’t too busy cleaning.

 

 

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Prompt Nights: Imperfection is Beautiful

Visit Saana at “A Dash of Sunny” to find out how to participate in this challenge.

Well, I just had to have some fun with this week’s challenge. When this idea popped into my head, I knew I’d give in and write it out.

FACE LOOKING OVER SHOULDERSONG OF THE ELEVATED EGO

I find it oh so easy to detect the faults in you.
It doesn’t take much effort; quite a simple thing to do.
And the guy who stands beside you, and the girl from down the street —
Well, it’s clear that not a one of you could my high standards meet.

But I balk at your suggestion that I may myself have faults,
Or that I come short of perfect due to imperfections caught.
No, it just seems quite impossible that problems you could see,
For I’m the measuring standard: there is nothing wrong with me!

 

 

~~~

 

 

Daily Post Prompts: Shadow – ‘The Beast’

BULL SILLHOUETTE EDITED -NEGATIVEThe sun was low in the sky and to my back. I lay on the ground, looking up at the clouds and turning them into all sorts of things. One looked very much like a turtle. One like a smiley face, since it had two holes where the blue peaked through, giving it eyes, and another opening that really did look surprisingly like a grin on a child’s face. One of the clouds looked a little like an old school teacher I’d had who wore her hair piled high on her head in a beehive style. Boy, did that thought give way to pondering where time has gone.

Suddenly, I heard a branch crack behind me. Now, I’m not normally skittish, but this cracking sound was loud enough that I knew it must have been more than just the normal activity of birds or squirrels in the bushes. And, since I was in my own back yard, with a fence around the perimeter, there shouldn’t have been any other creatures – human or otherwise – setting foot beyond that fence uninvited. I didn’t welcome that sound.

I didn’t sit up immediately, but sort of rolled my head to look toward my left first – and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Then I rolled my head toward the right side, and on the ground beside me I saw the shadow of a huge head – not human – but obviously belonging to a beast of a different sort. My heartbeat went into double time, but I just lay there sort of frozen. As I watched, fighting down panic as well as I could, the shadow moved, coming forward and revealing the shoulder area, two legs, and an enormous frame.

I thought about praying, but the words stuck in my throat. I suppose I did manage a silent cry for help, but my primary thought was how to manage rising from my vulnerable position without seeming a threat to said beast and prompting a vicious attack on my person. I contemplated what I had available as a weapon. Well, there was a broken branch or two close by that had blown from a few surrounding trees during a recent windstorm. I glanced again to my left to see if I might be able to reach out for one without actually moving the rest of my body.

As I did so, I felt rather than saw the beast move closer to me. Frantically, I scanned the area to my left, but found no branches big enough to provide weaponry. Just small twigs and several old leaves. Not even a big rock. Finally, I decided that I couldn’t just lie there any longer. If I did so, I was obviously going to be dead meat, and just maybe my jumping up quickly would be enough to throw off the beast’s attention and give me time to start running.

Okay. I squeezed my eyes shut and psyched myself to do it, but just as I opened my eyes, the huge shadow suddenly loomed right over my head, and I knew it was hopeless to try to escape. I could hear it breathing in my ear. Then I really did decide to pray, because if this were to be my home-going, I wanted to be ready. I squeezed my eyes shut again, bracing myself for the impact of the attack, when to my greater shock, something sloppy wet took hold of my right ear. The next thing I knew something else cold and wet nudged me in the side of my neck. And then my face was being slathered with slobber from my chin to my temple. What was it doing? Tasting me to see if I merited being eaten?

I put my hand up to try to cover my face, and when I did, this little furry body just sort of threw itself at my hand and started whining and wriggling, trying to get my hand away. Well, the body attacking mine was so much smaller than I had anticipated that I decided I could open my eyes and chance a look. So I opened one eye and squinted between my fingers, which I still had pressed against my face, and what I saw brought me into a sitting position roaring with laughter.

The little yellow lab puppy who was pouncing me and trying to give me a bath in his saliva couldn’t have been more than three or four months old. So this was the beast I’d seen in shadow form? Surely I wasn’t foolish enough to have made a mistake like that. But upon making the effort to sit upright fully and look around me in all directions, I realized that, sure enough, this little pup and I were the sole occupants of my huge back yard. He was little enough he could have squeezed under the fence if he’d had a mind to. And on further reflection, I realized that considering how low in the sky the sun had been, if it had been shining just right on that little fellow’s body, he would have thrown a shadow many times larger than his real size.

I grabbed the little guy and took him onto my lap, giving him a few good scratches behind the ears and a thorough belly rub. While doing so, I thought about how so many of the problems in my life had looked bigger than life and had threatened to destroy me. But, in truth, when I had finally decided to stand up to them and look them square in the eye and recognize them for exactly what they were and nothing more, I had forced them to show their true identity. And when all was said and done, they were always smaller than I was, and I had eventually defeated every one of them.

I determined to make a lasting mental note of my experience that day and to remember the lesson I’d learned from that little fellow with the monster shadow: Never judge a problem – or a puppy – by its fearsome shadow.

~

To participate visit Daily Post Prompts.

 

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