Sometimes Nonsense Is Good for the Soul

LEMON - CROPPEDLemons Can Be Beneficial to Your Marriage

I cut up a lemon and ate it.
The peel I did wash and then grate it;
Added it to hors d’oeuvres.
But it got on my nerves:
I was still puckered up four hours later.

So my hubby said, “Let’s do some kissin’,
‘Cause, for sure, some of that I’ve been missin.”
So we smooched ’til he said,
“I feel like newlyweds!”
Now, hubby more lemons is fixin.’

`
(This is the kind of stuff we poets write when we’re straining to find anything else to do in order to keep from doing the work we’re supposed to be doing.)

~~~

 

NaPoWriMo, 2015, Day 21 – Erasure Poems

I’m way behind with NaPoWriMo, but I thought I’d jump in and get my feet wet again anyway. I wasn’t too thrilled with the prompt for today, so I went back to yesterday’s prompt. It was to write an Erasure poem. The process involves taking a poem or some other text that has already been written and begin erasing words, but leaving the remaining words in the same order as they appear in the original. Then put those remaining words together (still in the same order), creating a brand new poem.
I actually did the experiment twice. Both times I used a poem I had written in the past. The first piece “Yellow” turned out to offer a light, rather lilting new poem, but it’s just a little quirky and requires a new title and new picture to fit the change.  
The second piece “Snowchild,” amazingly allowed me to erase a whole bunch of words, yet say exactly the same thing in the new poem that I had said in the original. Wow. That surprised me a little because I erased a LOT of words. 
Hope you enjoy both experiments.

SMILEY -- NO CIRCLEYELLOW  (Original poem)

Yellow sun, yellow moon,
Yellow ribbon on yellow balloon;

Yellow crayons for coloring,
Yellow bird that chirps and sings.

Yellow squash ripe on the vine,
Yellow daffodils — all mine.

Yellow hair, with cheeks so pink,
Yellow lemonade to drink;

Yellow duckies, yellow chicks,
Yellow grapefruit freshly picked;

Yellow butter drips and drops
From tender, yellow corn-on-cob.

Yellow curtains, crisp and bright,
Yellow anti-bug porch light;

But yellow has its ugly side:
Yellow fever; could have died;

Yellow-bellied, yellow streak,
Yellow-livered, backbone weak.

And sometimes yellow can’t be seen:
It hides in blue and turns to green.

~

TRAFFIC LIGHT
Clker.com

YELLOW (Erasure Version) 
New Title: “Getting the Green Light”

Sun,
moon,
bird that chirps and sings.

Daffodils –
all mine;
lemonade to drink.

Bright light,
sometimes yellow,
turns to green.

~~~

 

SNOWCHILD  (Original Poem)

BOY AT WINDOW - SNOWWhen I was a child, I thought as a child,
And snow was a thing so delightful.
From school we were free; we got wet to the knees,
And our mom’s day was thrown all off schedule.

But now that I’m grown, I must do on my own
All the chores Mom and Dad used to dread:
Stock up food by the loads, drive on slippery roads,
Shovel snow, and repair that old sled.

Now I look with dismay at the skies leaden gray
As I trudge to the store for supplies.
De-icer and salt sell out fast with no halt.
I need new boots to tread on the ice.

The wind from the north is bitter and harsh,
But my temperature, still it is rising;
I am in a foul mood, for I see nothing good
That can come from a snowstorm arriving.

But then the flakes start, and I feel in my heart –
Watching white, fluffy, wonderful, wild
Filling all of my world with such beauty unfurled –
That in truth I am still just a child!

~

SNOWCHILD (Erasure Version)
(No new title necessary) 

I was a child;
snow was delightful.

Now I’m grown;
I see nothing good
from a snowstorm.

Flakes start, and in my heart,
I am still a child!

 

~~~

 

`

Friday Fictioneers – 4/24/15 — ‘A Trip To the Stars’

So good to get back to Friday Fictioneers this week. If you’d like to join in with your own 100-word story, follow the link to learn how. The photo prompt this week is thanks to Douglas M. MacIlroy.

PHOTO PROMPT - © Douglas M. MacIlroy

A TRIP TO THE STARS

“You’ve got to be kidding!” she said looking at the row of four observatories.

“What do you mean, Honey?”

“When you described a package deal called ‘Honeymoon Under the Stars’ I thought you meant a warm, exotic beach.”

“But, Sweetheart, it’s the only place on earth to spend a week in a real observatory and study the heavens.”

“Harold, I don’t want to study the stars. I want to feel like I’ve been carried there by love … and speaking of that … how can we … you know … in that kind of place?”

“Don’t worry, my love,” he said, kissing her thoroughly. “I’ll give you a trip to the stars whether you ever look through that telescope or not.”

 

~~~

Loraine In Love

This little limerick is to make up for my more depressing 100-word story earlier today. Whew!  Glad I’m out of that mood.

LORAINE IN LOVE

TRAIN ENGINEER CARTOON -- OPEN CLIPARTThere once was a girl named Loraine
Who was wild for engineers of trains.
They could be short or tall;
She just loved them all;
Having one for her own was her aim.

Now, the guys who drove trains all agreed
That Loraine was no prize; no indeed;
So precautions they’d take,
Each to make his escape
When Loraine for a date came to plead.

Then a young engineer came to town
Who was clueless when she came around.
He became so beguiled
When right at him she smiled,
That right then on one knee he went down.

Oh the wedding was really a beut.
On a honeymoon now they’re enroute.
As they sit side by side
Engineer and his bride.
Down the tracks, at full throttle, they scoot.

There’s a moral to this little tale:
That a woman in love never fails.
If she’s made up her mind
And she’s true to her kind,
It’s the end for those poor, helpless males.

 

~~~

A Morning’s Adventure for Blackie Bird & His Family

Today NaPoWriMo asked us to write a poem that is a conversation. It sounded like a fun thing to do, but I didn’t have any time to sit down to my computer and create one.  However, thinking about the challenge brought back to my memory a story I did a couple years ago that focuses on conversation in a bird family. So I pulled it out of the archives, dusted it off, and re-posted it. True, it is not a poem, but it’s so doggone cute maybe no one will notice.

BLACKBIRD - PUBLIC DOMAIN

Mama!”
Mama … we’re hungry!”
Yeah, we’re hungry.”
“Just hold on, kids. I’ll check on Dad’s progress.”

Honey, I thought I’d better come and see if you’d found anything yet.”
Not yet. Those dang Cardinals grab everything in sight!”
(Sigh) “I know. They think just because they’re so splendid to look at they should get the best of everything.”
Hey, look — two worms! I’ll grab ’em.”

Oh, Honey, look out!  Kitty-Kitty’s comin’ at you at 2:00!”
“I see him, but if I fly off, I’ll lose the worms to the Bluejays.”
“What can we do?  Oh, wait. I see Barn-a-Bee on the roses. Call him to come help.”

Hey, Barn-a-Bee, Kitty-Kitty’s crouched to attack. Help me, quick!”CAT # 1 - cropped
On my way.  Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ….”
SMACK!
MEOW!!#%$!!#$%!!”

Great hit, Barn-a-Bee!  Right on the nose. Kitty-Kitty won’t be back in this direction for a while. Thanks, old pal. I owe you one.”

~~~

‘It’s All About Feet’ – for NaPoWriMo, 2015 – Day 4

Nothing’s impossible, right?  The folks over at NaPoWriMo believe that because today they have asked us to write a Love poem without using the word “love” or any of the hearts, flowers, or cliches that generally go along with that word.  (Deep breath)  Okey-dokey.  I’ll give it a try. To join in the fun, follow the link to the home site for easy instructions.

FEET, CLKER.COM 2 - creditsIT’S ALL ABOUT FEET

I know is this old world, it’s sad, but true:
Emotional relationships so often fail.
And marriages, though formerly until death,
Now change as fast as color on the nails.

But I’m convinced our troth will still endure.
I’m sure of you as you are sure of me.
I know because we’re comfortable together
When on the same footstool we prop our feet.

What better test of faithfulness and trust,
Than doffing shoes and bravely baring toes.
Our feet look comfy, happy, and complete,
And for commitment’s sake we hold our nose.

~~~
photo: clker.com

Tickle Me Tuesday – Week 9

CARTOON MAN LYING DOWN LAUGHING 2Today is the final “Tickle Me Tuesday” post. It’s been a lot of fun for me and, I think, for a few other folks.  If you have something you’d like to share for this week — it can be ordinarily funny, outrageously hilarious, or just downright happy — post it onto your own blog and then come over here and paste the link into the “Comments” window below. Just make sure it’s fit for general audiences, and you don’t have to worry about any other rules. Feel free to post something for this last week at any time.

~

evolution money - edited
~

Tickle Me Tuesday – Week 8 — ‘Me and My TV’

CARTOON MAN LYING DOWN LAUGHING 2Join the fun. Make us laugh — or chuckle — or at least snicker. Give us your idea of what turns over the ‘tickle-box.’  It can be a picture, a story, a poem, a joke, a song, anything you’re in the mood for — as long as it’s fit for general audiences.

Just post on your own site and come over here and paste the link into the “Comments” box below.

Here’s mine:BOY & TVMom says I watch too much TV.
And if I do not change,
My body will quite chubby be,
And I’ll have sluggish brains.

She tells me that I need to read,
Study science and math,
And that I need to exercise,
Run up and down the path.

I’d like to make her smile at me
To please her I don’t mind.
But day and night my programs air;
I just have no free time!

But I have promised I will do
My best – some day – she’ll see.
As soon as I have finished with
My programs on TV.

Tickle Me Tuesday – Week 7 — I just have to do a second one

CARTOON MAN LYING DOWN LAUGHING 2Can’t help it. I just have to do a second post for this week’s “Tickle Me Tuesday.” This little limerick story just came to me, and I do hate to keep it to myself. (If you want to participate in “Tickle Me Tuesday,” just follow the link for instructions.)

`

WOMAN FREAKED OUT - EGGSEgg-Head

I just can’t get over her hair.
Such a fright everyone has to stare.
She discovered online
That two raw eggs and wine
Would give luster beyond all compare.

So she mixed up the potion exact,
With a pinch of vanilla extract,
Now she smells nice and sweet,
But the eggs, they got beat
When her hair dryer got in the act.

So she’s walking around everywhere
With scrambled eggs now in her hair.
A good lesson she’s learned:
That a girl could get burned.
So with online advice, just BEWARE!

~~~

Tickle Me Tuesday – Week 7

CARTOON MAN LYING DOWN LAUGHING 2It’s “Tickle Me Tuesday” time again. I’ll be running this invitational through March, so there are only two weeks left after today. So if you have any little tidbit that causes a chuckle, a grin, or a belly laugh, you really should share it with us. Post your story, poem, song, joke, picture, or video on your own site and come over here and paste the link to your post in the “Comments” box below. Only two things you need to do: make your post something lighthearted or funny and make it safe for general audiences to enjoy. My offering is below:

ANTIQUE SIGN

A Vessel of Sterling

While browsing antique shops, I made a great find!
Unearthed a rare treasure. Never saw one in kind.

An elegant bowl, with a handle and lid;
Beneath so much tarnish, it’s true beauty hid.

Though black with the ages, I hugged it to me;
I paid the man gladly and danced home with glee.

Polished and rubbed to a radiant glow,
On party buffet my prize purchase would show.

It gleamed and it glowed, holding punch the next day,
When – horror of horrors – I heard a guest say:

“Heaven help us! Is this the best silver you’ve got?
I’ll not drink my punch from an old chamber pot!”

~~~

Tickle Me Tuesday — Week 6

CARTOON MAN LYING DOWN LAUGHING 2Sorry I’m so late getting this week’s Tickle up, but I have been swamped with technology problems today.  (I’m running way behind on my serialized story as well. But to quote a well-known character in English literature, “The hurrieder I go, the behinder I get.”)

Here’s today’s chuckle from me, and anyone else who has a chuckle, a giggle, a laugh, or a belly roll, just post your funny stuff on your blog and hop over here and paste your link into the “Comments” box. Keep it all safe for general audiences, and that’s the only rule you need to follow.

SPACED-OUT EXCUSESSPACESHIP CARTOON -PURPLE

“Johnny,” said his teacher, “where’s your homework?”
“Uh …” the child replied, “well, it’s like this.”
Then calling on his great imagination,
John recited his excuses like a list.

“I saved my book report until the last day
Because I wanted it to be so fresh;
I wanted to review again my story,
And to type it so it wouldn’t be a mess.

“But when I went to print it out on paper,
The printer said that it was out of ink.
So Dad said he would go to Wal-Mart for some,
And that he would be back in just two blinks.

“I waited and I waited with my printer,
And as the hours ticked by, I fell asleep,
But did not wake until the sun disturbed me,
So quickly from my chair then I did leap.

“I went in search of Dad, but found him nowhere.
My mom said he had called to say goodbye.
He’d seen a spaceship land not far from Wal-Mart,
And with those spacemen he’d agreed to fly.

“He said it was a chance for rare adventure,
And he was sure that you would understand,
And promised that when he returns with more ink,
My book report will be a story grand!

“I know you tell us life’s a great adventure;
Of opportunities to be aware,
So I was sure you’d want to wait ’till next week,
To have my book report to read and share.”

~~~