Almost all of my friends and family are sane people who wear their shoes inside their houses as well as outside. Unless, of course, their feet hurt; then that’s a different story. But there are those humans out there who have this absurd notion that people should remove their shoes as soon as they enter a building and go barefoot — or possibly sock-footed — while inside. A few switch to special shoes that are reserved only for “in-house” wear, and several even offer said shoes to visitors. (Although it’s beyond me why they think visitors would want to wear shoes worn by any number of other people they don’t even know.)

I really don’t know if these weird people are worried about getting their floors dirty or if they have some religious scruples — like being afraid of offending the god of flooring or something. But doesn’t it ever bother them when they use the bathroom (especially in homes with boys or men who often are not careful where they aim)? I mean, when they feel something wet on their socks or bare feet, do they not even wonder what that is???

Well, either way, suffice it to say that those people never have to worry about a visit from me. I just happened to be sitting quietly and thinking about this subject recently and decided to express myself poetically.

VISITING FEET

Remove my shoes? I don’t think so.
I go no place unshod.
When entering homes, I wipe my soles
Of dirt through which I’ve trod.

But if my host requires that I
Remove my own footwear,
I must reply, being stern but kind,
I won’t be visiting there.

Some will supply soft slippers worn
For walking through their home,
But why would I desire shoes worn
By others, some unknown?

So overall, it’s best to say,
When invitations come,
If I’m required to bare my toes,
I’ll choose to stay at home.