RACING FOR A SECOND CHANCE
Lungs burning, gulping breath, she could hardly see.
Keep running: her mantra.
The bus was gaining speed rapidly.
Keep running. Have to catch it! Have to stop him!
Best thing in whole life … How could I …?
But submission to her family’s pride was a life-long habit – nearly impossible to break.
Keep running!
You’re making a fool of yourself.
Keep running!
I AM a fool: I let him go!
Keep —
The bus suddenly screeched to a stop … pulled away again.
Too spent to chase it further, she dropped to her knees, squinting through the exhaust fumes.
He stood there, suitcase in hand.
She had no breath for words, but her eyes said it all.
~~~
I wrote this story for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. But I also wrote the other side of the story — from the guy’s point of view — for the new writing challenge — AS I SAT ON THE BUS — over at Bumba’s blog.
So if you’d like to read the companion story, click the title here: “As Cody Sat on the Bus”
`
The Happy Wordcrafter 
Dear Sandra,
Sounds like a girl who knew what she wanted no matter what anyone else thought. Nice one. I felt the sense of urgency. This left me breathless.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks, Rochelle. I felt a little breathless myself as I wrote it. Empathy, I guess.
Great, great story. I like the use of different fonts to show her thoughts. I’m glad he got off the bus for her.
Thanks, David. This one was a real challenge, but I felt it from the first day I saw the picture.
And taking part in the “As I Sat on the Bus” writing invitational on the Bumba site fit in just perfectly this week. It gave me a chance to write from the guy’s perspective and add a lot of the details that I had to leave out with our strict word limit here at FFs. It was really fun to tell the same story from two different people’s points of view.
Dear Sandra,
i enjoyed this and the companion piece you linked to. Good work.
Aloha,
Doug
Thank you, Doug. This was a unique venture for me, but the two challenges about busses provided the perfect opportunity.
Good for her, following her heart. A lesson for us all.
Hi Sandra
You packed a lot in here. When I got to the end, I found I had been holding my breath! Loved your last line
Dee
I sort of held my breath through the writing of it too. So glad it affected readers the same way. Thanks for letting me know.
I read the As I Sat on the Bus part first..loved them both!
Thank you very much.
By the way, it was through your blog that I discovered the Bumba blog with the Bus stories. They are kind of fun.
Wonderful! I love it when there is a ripple effect.
Great love story.
Thank you, Patrick. And if you want a little more background and some of the blanks filled in, take the link over to the companion story. It didn’t have a word limit, so that part is a little longer and fleshes the story out slightly better.