Poetry

Writing 201: Poetry – Day 5 — ‘Too Late’

Today’s prompt word is “fog.” The form we’ve been asked to use is the elegy — with strong encouragement to try using elegiac couplets. And the technique assigned for today is the metaphor.

I’ve offered my piece in a slightly modified elegiac couplet, and the only occurrence of a metaphor is in the second line. But since this is the poem that came to me, I did not try to force myself to comply with more exact or more numerous metaphors. I sort of liked the piece the way it came. So, dear readers, that’s the way I’m serving it to you.  (And to set your mind at rest, I will tell you that the poem is NOT based on personal experience — I’m thankful to say.)

CEMETERY - JEFFERSON STREET - PUBDOGTOO LATE

Out from the fog and the daze I am struggling to make my way.
Scrabbling to gather the pieces of my tattered life.

Once I was warm with a love that imbued me with happiness.
Now only memories haunt me and cause my heart strife.

I sought to hold you, to own you, to bind you to me for all time.
Giving no freedom, no breathing space, no chance to fly.

Smothering you with my paranoid jealousy; making you hate me;
Turning your poor heart to stone, and that caused you to die.

Oh, how I long for just one day to relive my tragic mistakes –
One hour to whisper that finally my lesson I’ve learned.

One precious moment to bare my soul as I have never before,
Offering you only the unselfish love that you earned.

But wretch that I am, I have come to the truth only when it’s too late.
Repentant in heart, but with no where to go to confess.

For cold, ‘neath the ground you have lain all these months, and your ears cannot hear.
I’m eternally lost in this fog of remorse, and there is no rest.

~~~

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9 thoughts on “Writing 201: Poetry – Day 5 — ‘Too Late’”

  1. Kudos on going for the elegiac couplets — they do have something about them, don’t they? By the way, I felt like there was a lot more metaphor-related action than the second line alone — from “memories haunt me” to “this fog of remorse”, the language was really rich with it.

    1. Thank you for pointing that out. I think those lines just flowed out almost of their own accord, and I didn’t think about them from the standpoint of metaphor. As for the elegiac couplets: this is the first time in all my years of writing poetry that I have tried that form. Very interesting — although I’d hate to have to write in it too often.

  2. This is beautifully written Sandra. The poem is filled with regret and remorse. And reminds us that we should always try to make peace with our loved ones before it is too late.

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