Echo?

I have no good excuse for this bit of ridiculous whimsy. I was just in the mood to write some cinquain, and when I put my fingers to my keyboard, this is what came out.

MOUNTAIN CLIMBER edited for blog

ECHO

I stood
On mountain top
And called out loud, “Hello,
I’m looking for my one true love;”
Then heard:

“Hello,
I’m looking for
My one true love.” — Oh, joy!
My heart was sure I’d found my love
At last.

And so
I called again
And once again reply
Came loud and strong; that lovely song
Came back.

So then
I walked around
But stopped on ev’ry side
And called my heart’s desire and heard
Reply.

Alas,
I spent the day
And grew quite hoarse in throat
But never found the love who called
To me.

~~~

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5 Comments

janebasilblog

July 4, 2017 — 1:52 pm

This is wonderful! I love the way constraints sometimes lead you by the nose, bringing out something totally unexpected. I especially like the way you left your poor climber baffled, never knowing it was just an echo.

Sandra Conner (Post author)
July 4, 2017 — 3:27 pm

Reply

Thank you. Yes, my mountaineer was a little less than brilliant, but he fit the theme of the piece. I think the constraints you mentioned are the real value of the cinquain, That’s why I like it so much. It helps with writing discipline and forces me to say things in unique ways. And even though I know very few people ever read books of poetry now days, I’m actually preparing a whole book of nothing but cinquain — just because it’s so much fun.
- janebasilblog
  July 4, 2017 — 5:29 pm
  
  Reply
  
  I agree about constraints being fun. I’ve never written cinquain, but over the past couple of years I’ve played with quite a few other syllabic patterns. Maybe I’ll have a go at cinquain…